One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised.She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?”He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $ 5,000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the salesclerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?”“About 35,” was the reply. “I’m actually 47,” the man says, feeling really happy. After that he goes into McDonalds for lunch, and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, “Oh you look about 29.”“I am actually 47.” This makes him feel really good.While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, “I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man’s age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your hairy walnuts. . That David Anderson." See what you can do, George. I'm constantly plagued by the Alphabet soup." I made them look bad, George. It doesn't matter that they Were bad ... I was supposed to lie down and take it because our government would never harass an honest man." That was a joke, George." Ok ... it wasn't funny. It was true ... but not funny." Yes, Sir. Could you give Lyndon a call? I've about run out of polite and getting short on temper, too." Oh, yes, sir. I've prayed about it." What would Jesus do?" I thought about that for a second, "Well, sir. He took a whip to the money lenders and temple prostitutes. Scattered the usury on the temple floor. You sure you want me to do that?" It's in the Bible sir. And making a whip of cords, he drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and oxen. And he poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables. And he told those who sold the pigeons, "Take these things away; do not make my Father's house a house of trade..
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